When a dog licks you is it a kiss

Dog Kisses: Is Your Dog Really Kissing You?

You either love it or hate it: the wet, warm sensation of a dog licking your face. Many of us seek out this kind of interaction with our dogs (sometimes much to the horror of onlookers) while others try to discourage the behavior. Many dog lovers attribute a lot of meaning to dogs licking us, especially if were the sort that enjoy it we say our dogs are giving us kisses and we interpret that as a sign of affection, but are dog kisses really a sign of affection? Or are they just after the leftovers we forgot to wipe off our chins?

Why do Dogs Lick People?

Certified Professional Dog Trainer and Chair of The Association of Professional Dog Trainers Nick Hof, CPDT-KA, CBCC-KA, KPA-CTP, CSAT, explains there are a lot of reasons why dogs lick peoples hands, feet or faces. It might mean your dog wants to show you affection, but it could also be because you taste good or that your dog is struggling with compulsive behavior.

If you are wearing sweet-scented lotion, or come home sweaty, your dog might be licking you because you taste good. I know my own dogs are very excited to lick my hands if Ive been eating something greasy or salty, like potato chips. Hof mentions that dog guardians shouldnt be alarmed by their dogs finding them delicious they probably wont take a bite out of you!

While most of the time dog kisses arent anything to be concerned about, Hof warns there are times when the kissing might be a sign of something else going on with your dog. He advises that there might be an underlying health issue if the licking seems to be compulsive, excessive, or self-destructive; if it is difficult to redirect your dog or they are harming themselves, you should consult with your veterinarian for help addressing this issue.

Are Dog Kisses Actually Signs of Affection?

Unfortunately, theres no easy answer to dogs intentions when licking their people, but it seems to come down to whether your dog is seeking you out, or if you are seeking your dog out.

Hof explains, Its helpful to look at the context of the licking to better understand and pay attention to other signals besides the licking or the kiss, such as the dog approaching the owner and choosing to engage in the behavior despite having the option to move away or leave; or was the dog thrust upon and looking away and licking his lips as well? In other words, forced affection on the part of the guardian can warp the true intention of a dogs kiss a dog will kiss your face to appease you and make go away rather than to display their love for you.

Hof offers the following important reminder: its always best to invite your dog to approach you so that you feel more confident theyve made that choice willingly. When you begin to respect your dogs autonomy, you see more comfort and confidence in their behavior. What you can count on as a result is knowing the way your dog behaves with you is genuine.

For safety reasons (and this is a hard one for many of us who share our lives with dogs), Hof states that it is not recommended for people to put their faces up to their dogs faces. Although this is often done as a sign of affection from us, it is very commonly invasive to our dogs and they may not appreciate it. This is where we most often see dogs licking or kissing their persons face as a way for the dog to avoid conflict.

This Kiss to Dismiss, as coined by the Family Paws Organization, is often paired with a look away from the person and licking of lips. If you would like to have a close moment with your dog, invite them to do so with you, and if they want to come up to your face, they will but if not, respect it when they say no. Obviously we want our dogs to be comfortable so its important to be thoughtful of how we physically show emotions to our dogs, so that our dogs dont feel pressured to appease us through kisses.

How to Get Your Dog to Stop Licking You

If your dog is prone to kisses and you or your family and guests arent fans of it, Hof explains the best thing you can do is to be proactive with training your dog.

If you see them approaching and you know theyre going to lick you, ask them to sit as they approach, then redirect their affection and energy onto a toy or other activity. If, when you sit down to watch TV, your dog tries to give you a tongue bath, give them a stuffed Kong or a bone to enjoy instead of your sweat or lotion.

Getting ahead of the behavior is particularly important. If you wait until they are already licking you to always redirect, you may inadvertently reinforce the licking behavior with a treat or chew, Hof cautioned. Simply this means your dog may increase his licking in order to get the treats you were using to redirect the licking in the first place.

If you have a hard time redirecting your dog or discouraging licking behavior, its a good idea to talk with your veterinarian or a veterinary behaviorist to determine if there is something going on with your dog causing what might be obsessive licking behavior. Dog trainer Jill Breitner reminds us that, Licking as in lip licking or tongue flicks are a sign of stress. She also points out that it can happen quickly and that dog guardians may not even realize that their dog is stressed.

Context is always key in decoding the emotional state of a dog, explains Breitner, creator of the Dog Decoder App in collaboration with artist Lili Chin of Doggie Drawings. This interactive education app teaches users about canine body language and how to better read what your dog is telling you about their emotional wellbeing through body language. The app is available for iPhones and Androids.

Sassafras Lowrey is an award-winning author and Certified Trick Dog Instructor. Sassafras lives and writes in Portland, Oregon, with her partner, a senior Chihuahua mix, rescued Cattle Dog mix, young Newfoundland, two bossy cats, and a formerly semi-feral kitten.

Why Does My Dog Lick Me?

Whats better than coming home to a kiss from a happy dog? Most dog owners interpret the reason why dogs lick their owners as a sign of affection. But is this really why your dog is licking you? And what can you do if your dogs licking behavior is out of control?

Is Licking a Dogs Way of Kissing?

The jury is out on what a dogs licking actually means. Believe it or not, what people interpret as affection might, in fact, be your dog encouraging you to throw up what you ate for lunch for them.

Researchers of wild canids wolves, coyotes, foxes, and other wild dogs report that puppies lick the face and muzzle of their mother when she returns from a hunt to her den in order to get her to regurgitate for them, notes Dr. Alexandra Horowitz, head of the Horowitz Dog Cognition Lab at Barnard College, Columbia University.

Similarly, your dog could simply think that you taste nice. Certified applied animal behaviorist Dr. Mary Burch points out that humans have slightly salty skin, especially after sweating during exercise. Therefore, those licks might be more about seeking salt than giving affection. Horowitz adds that if your dog likes to lick your face, it will often happen after youve finished a delicious meal.

But, there is also evidence that licking is sometimes a sign of affection. Horowitz points out that, although it started as a food-seeking behavior, licking has now become a ritualized greeting for many dogs. Some wild species in the dog family will lick pack members just to welcome them home. So, those daily slobbers really might just be a sign that your dog is happy to see you.

Licking can be a sign of affection, explains Burch. It might also give a dog a feeling of security and comfort, just as the dog had when licked by its mother in the litter.

When Does a Dogs Licking Become a Problem?

Most licking is harmless, even welcome as a form of self-expression on the dogs part. Burch notes that theres no need to worry that its a form of domination in fact, its quite the opposite.

One theory is the licking is a sign of submission, she says. The idea is that dogs who are submissive will lick a more dominant member of the pack.

Even so, there are some scenarios when you might want to head off a slobber-fest from your pup. The first relates to human comfort, that is, some people simply dont like being licked by a dog. If you have a friend who dislikes being licked by dogs, its kinder to dog and friend alike to redirect the behavior.

But sometimes licking is a symptom of a more serious problem. If your dog is licking themselves, you, or objects excessively, to the point that it seems like a self-stimulatory behavior, this might be a sign of anxiety, boredom, or pain. Obsessive self-licking can also be a sign of allergies or other health problems.

What Can Dog Owners Do About Problem Licking?

If your dog is self-licking excessively, start by having your veterinarian check them out and address any medical problems or discomfort. Once youve ruled out medical explanations, you can turn to behavioral solutions.

One idea is to redirect your dog, says Burch. When they lick, switch up the activity. A good option is to choose a behavior that is incompatible with licking, such as using an interactive puzzle to get a treat. You can also have the dog engage in other behaviors such as ball play or trick training.

By repeating this redirect, youll gradually reinforce the lesson that you dont want your dog to lick, without ever using negative reinforcement.

Lick mats are specifically designed to tap into a dogs enjoyment of licking in a positive (and non-destructive or irritating) way. Smear some dog-safe peanut butter or plain yogurt on a lick mator even serve your dog their meals on a soothing lick matto help satisfy their urge to lick.

Trick training, in particular, is a good way to turn a repeated undesirable behavior into an opportunity for positive reinforcement. Start by simply having the dog sit, which might stop the licking on its own, then reward the behavior with a treat.

Next, why not harness your dogs affection by teaching them to give you a hug? Or to speak on cue? Other tricks to practice could include sitting up, army crawling, or leg weaving. If you and your dog find you really enjoy trick training, you could even look into AKC Trick Dog trials. If your dogs excessive licking behavior was caused by boredom, getting involved in practicing for Tricks titles will do the, well, trick!

Whether or not you dive into trick training, always make sure that your affectionate, lick-happy dog gets plenty of attention and exercise. Excess energy can lead to over-licking or other, more destructive behaviors.

Need some help training your dog? While you may not be able to attend in-person training classes during COVID-19, we are here to help you virtually through AKC GoodDog! Helpline. This live telephone service connects you with a professional trainer who will offer unlimited, individualized advice on everything from behavioral issues to CGC prep to getting started in dog sports.

What It Means When a Dog Licks You

Source: Stephanie Wallace/Flickr CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

What does it mean when a dog licks your hand? Mothers explain this behavior to their young children with words like "Look dear, Lassie is giving you dog kisses." Unfortunately, this explanation is often not correct. Licking behaviors can mean many different things, depending upon the context, and dog licks cannot be interpreted simply as kissing and affection.

What Gets Kissed

In Western cultures, we tend to assume that kissing is most often applied directly to the face and sometimes to the hands in formal social contact. Dogs are less focused in their "kissing." While dogs will lick faces if they get the chance, they will also lick hands, feet, knees, or whatever they can get close enough to get their tongues on.

Of course, people who assume that dogs' licking is the equivalent of kissing are not thinking of sexual-romantic kissing. It may be a surprise to hear, but romantic face kissing is not universal not even close. A cross-cultural analysis of kissing in 168 societies found that less than half (46%) kiss on the face and lips. There are definitely some cultural factors involved, since couples in economically developed and socially stratified cultures are almost 3 times more likely to kiss on the lips than those who live in tribes.

Saying Hello

However, putting romance and sex aside, kissing usually takes place as part of a greeting ritual in humans and primates. You kiss Aunt Sylvia or your spouse's sister, not as an expression of romantic love, nor even necessarily as an overt sign of affection, but rather as part of a greeting behavior. Kissing often has no more significance than a handshake in this situation and this is often the case in dogs as well.

Social Signals

For dogs, licking can communicate information about relative status, intentions, and state of mind but it is most frequently a peacemaking or pacifying behavior. We all know that after conflict, to pacify a situation, human beings often "kiss and make up." Similar behavior has been observed by animal behaviorist Frans de Waal in chimpanzees for whom kissing seems to be a form of reconciliation after a spat.

For dogs, most peacemaking behaviors have a common element in that they usually contain aspects of puppy-like behavior. Juvenile behavior is the canine equivalent of a "white flag." Most canine adults tend to nurture the young of their own species and there appears to be a strong inhibition against actually attacking puppies. Submissive, frightened or weak adults take advantage of this by adopting juvenile postures and performing infantile actions to avoid aggression. Such behaviors usually soften the mood of the threatening animal and will normally avert any sort of physical attack. Many forms of pacifying behavior contain licking components, so it makes sense to look at the early lives of dogs to interpret what these signals were meant to communicate in their earliest stages.

How Licking Became a Form of Communication

Dogs are first introduced to licking by their mother immediately after their birth. Once the puppies are out of the birth canal, the mother licks them to clean them up. This same licking also serves to stimulate their breathing. In the days that follow she continues to lick the puppies to groom them. Much of her licking is focused on the anal and genital regions to stimulate urination and defecation. I think that a convincing case can be made that the mother loves her puppies; however, when she is licking them she is using her tongue to groom them, not to kiss them. Because she loves her baby, a human mother may wash her infant and may change its diapers to keep it clean. Yet I am sure that no one would say that changing a diaper is equivalent to kissing. Dogs effectively keep their puppies clean and remove their urine and feces with their tongues because they simply don't have the dexterity to keep their puppies clean with their paws and certainly don't have the ability to diaper and bathe them.

As the puppies grow older they begin to lick and clean themselves and their litter mates. This mutual licking and grooming serves several social functions. Obviously, it helps keep the puppies clean, but in the process it helps to strengthen the bonds between the puppies. A puppy can thus have companions who get at those hard-to-reach places like ears and backs and faces, and they pay them back by licking their littermates in their own inaccessible regions. Since friends and familiars groom friends and familiars as a considerate gesture, the very act of licking another dog develops significance as a means of communication. Licking thus shifts from being a utilitarian and useful act to becoming a ritualized gesture of affection.

Luncheon Is Served

Licking takes on another meaning a little bit later in the lives of puppies, usually around the time that they are becoming less dependent on their mother's milk. In the wild, when a mother wolf returns from hunting she will have already fed herself on her quarry. When she enters the den, the puppies gather around her and begin to lick her face. To a romantic, this may look like a loving greeting with all of the puppies overjoyed at mother's return after her absence of several hours. They are seen as simply kissing her in happiness and relief. The actual purpose of all of this face-licking, however, is much more functional. Wild canines have a well-developed regurgitation reflex and the puppies lick their mother's face and lips to cause her to vomit up some food. It is more convenient for the mother to carry food in her stomach rather than trying to drag things back to the den in her mouth. Furthermore, this partially-digested material makes ideal dining for young puppies.

So Is Licking the Equivalent of Kissing?

Understanding the development of licking behavior helps to interpret another situation in which it occurs. Face licking in adult canines can be a sign of respect or deference to a more dominant dog. The dog doing the licking usually lowers his body to make himself smaller and looks up, adding to the image of juvenile behavior. The dog receiving the face licks shows his higher status by standing tall to accept the gesture, but does not lick the other dog in return.

So now when a dog tries to lick your face you should have a better idea of what he's trying to communicate. He may simply be hungry and asking for a snack. Obviously you won't regurgitate some food at that signal, but you might respond affectionately and perhaps give him a treat. He may be communicating submission and pacification the adult version of good will and acceptance in puppies. Basically, he is saying, "Look, I'm just like a puppy that is dependent on big adults like you. I need your protection and help." Alternatively, he may be showing respect and deference to you since you control the resources that he depends upon.

Licking, then, is a complex signal and is clearly not always the canine equivalent of kissing. It does send some important social messages which we can read by reading the pattern and context of the licking behavior. However, since none of these messages are hostile in any way, I have no qualms telling my grandchildren that they are being kissed when my dogs lick them. It is certainly as harmless a myth as Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny, and it brings with it an equivalent dose of joy to the individual being licked.

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